Testimony Thursday

Sarah Saegart....

I really appreciate Leah offering her readers a chance to share their testimonies.  It has been such an encouragement for me to see evidence of the Holy Spirit’s work in the hearts of other young people!
Anyway, I just graduated from homeschooling—my sister and I have done all our schooling that way and it has been such a blessing—I was raised in a wonderful Christian family (like I’m sure most of you readers were), in a very wholesome and sheltered (yet lively!) environment; I was constantly surrounded by other people who also loved the Lord—the ideal way to be brought up!  I was taught to memorize scripture and pray to the Lord as soon as I could talk.  I was a very joyful little girl, known for constantly singing and dancing around the house (something you will still catch me doing today!) and I was never ashamed to tell people that the reason for my happiness was because “I had Jesus in my heart”.  I didn’t have a care in the world!
 However, like anyone else, I was human, and my heart was ‘prone to wander’ (Romans 3:23).  When I was around fourteen, I started focusing less on the goodness of God and more on what people thought about me.  I became very driven to lose weight… my goal was to be thin enough to fit into this ‘cool’ pair of size-zero jeans I had hidden under my bed (I can’t even remember where I got those horrible things).  I started making lots of poor choices, often flat-out disobeying my parents, who told me again and again to stop my crash dieting and vicious exercising.  I fell into deep depression when I saw that my goal to be super-thin was destroying my relationships with my family and friends, and even more serious, it had destroyed my relationship with Jesus; I had fallen away from fellowship with Him completely (Romans 11:22).  I think back now on the thoughts I was harboring at the time; they were from the Devil.  I was allowing him to control me.  Thus, my normal health, as well as my joy, had been robbed from me because of my selfishness (my extreme desire to be thin was self-centered).   Everyone who knew me could see the horrible change in me and some people even made comments about how I looked like I was sick… The truth was that I had what is generally known as Anorexia*.  Some people call Anorexia a ‘disease’ or a ‘disorder’; but I know now that it is a heart issue… a sin problem; I was infatuated with my outward appearances.  (See 1 Samuel 16:7)
I will try to shorten the long and painful story of how I came out of it.  It was really slow at first… like breaking a bad habit-- or having freedom from an addiction.  I felt so weak, and many times I cried myself to sleep with hopelessness (my little sister, Heather, was a huge help to me during that time, I remember her singing to me and reading the Psalms to me to get me to fall asleep.  She is such a dear)!  Still though, it would have been very hard, maybe even impossible, to break free of my problem if I had not realized that I needed Christ’s help more than anything.  
As I began to seek Him, He showed me that in order to experience the peace, joy, and fulfillment I’d had before, I needed to get my focus off of myself, and let loose of my ideas, and entrust it all to the Lord.  So I surrendered myself—my appearances, my choices, my past, my future, my plans and dreams, over to God.  (Oh, and I threw those jeans away, too!)  I prayed and asked Jesus to forgive me, to cast out the sin and infatuations that bound me like a prison, and to restore to me the “joy of my salvation”.   (Psalms 51:10-13, 139:23,24—my life verses!!!) It was like starting all over again. Jesus welcomed me back into His arms and taught me over time to live for Him and for others… instead of for myself.  The Lord showed me at that point that the only thing that mattered was what He thought about me!  What people thought about me mattered very little.  When I finally grasped that, it was like a major relief.  It was very freeing… I could love and live for Jesus again, unfettered by my past. 
Since then, my story has been one of a salvation process (sanctification and growth).  It’s a journey...  My, it’s been incredible.  And I don’t believe it’s over.  I think that process lasts until you leave this earth.  “And do this [love your neighbor], knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first began.”  (Romans 13:11).  What a beautiful picture.  Each second is closer and closer to the moment when we will be in Heaven-- ultimately set free from the wickedness and the temptations here on the earth where Satan has been allowed to rule.
 God has been working with me right from the beginning, and He's not done with me yet!  (See Ecclesiastes 3:11).  I still have far to go.  The lessons I've learned over the course of time I will need to be reminded of again sometime down the road; and things I have yet to discover about life in Christ lay before me like an unopened letter, waiting for me to read... and not just once, but over and over again, as if it were from a cherished friend.
The life that I live now is Christ living in me (Galatians 2:20), and since my heart has been cleansed, re-made and empowered by His grace and by His Spirit, I am called to walk worthy (Ephesians 4:1), to overcome temptation and sin (Romans 12:21), to be strong in the Lord (Ephesians 6:10) to endure to the end (Matthew 10:22), and to not be afraid (Revelation 2:10)… because “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  Philippians 4:13.
*Note: I have done a good deal of research on what is commonly known as Anorexia Nervosa.  It is an intense obsession that a person gets over losing weight, which in serious cases leads to collapse of the body’s normal functions, including heart failure.   Anorexia is becoming a bigger problem with girls in America today-- probably because today’s culture puts an oppressive amount of pressure on them to have that particular ‘look’ or figure.  The season of my life where I was Anorexic lasted a little over a year.  I just want to say that my parents played a huge role in helping me see my need for the Lord, and my need to turn back to Him and get back on the right path to the life I was intended to live.  They caught on to my problem just in time—they noticed how I had become very emaciated.  I was already beginning to have health issues, due to my lack of nutrition, when they found out (I had been keeping my eating habits a secret for a long time).  Despite my initial stubbornness to take their advice, they were very patient and persistent with me until I began to yield and I’m so grateful to them—who knows where I’d be now if they hadn’t been there to help me. 
To those of you younger folks who are still living under your parents’ authority, I advise you to always talk with them about your troubles and respect their wisdom and their advice—they are God-given guidance to you while you are young and it’s always best to heed them.  The rewards for obedience to your parents will last your whole lifetime.  (Exodus 20:12) 











Sarah has a wonderful blog that you all might be interested in. It is jesusmakesbeautiful.blogspot.com